I always thought there was something wrong with me. Well, maybe that’s a long story. But what I mean is, in relation to work, I could never seem to want what everyone was saying I should want. Networking. LinkedIn. Lean In. Hustle. Girl Boss. It made my stomach twist whenever I made myself think about it. That my job was supposed to be such an integral part of my identity as an adult. When I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. It made me feel strangely identity-less. It was easy to tell myself that I had failed. That I should be embarrassed when meeting new people or people from my past who I hadn’t seen in awhile. That I was missing that thing that would define me neatly and make me acceptable to others.
I never liked the world of work as I have experienced it. The set periods of time, clock in, clock out, the small coffee stations with Styrofoam cups, the microwaved lunches, the hours spent sitting at a computer, the frustration I felt with myself for not staying on task, for not being able to force myself to do the things I had no interest in doing. But still, I usually performed pretty well. Even though I wasted SO MUCH TIME. Reading news stories, social media, making spreadsheets about any and all areas of my life. Anything to make the time go by. I was tied to the desk, but I could never make myself obey completely.
On top of that, I started to learn how detrimental my daily activities were to the environment. The drive to the office was killing the planet, and also hurting me physically. Sitting at the desk was terrible for my health. The stress and rush of life made me rely on quick fixes like pre-packaged meals and drive-thru coffee, very wasteful and expensive and unhealthy options. I kept thinking it was my fault. If I just tried harder. Got more organized. Focused. Got control of my life.
But, no. That’s really crazy. The system that we have come up with makes no sense. Getting fat and lethargic because of your sedentary job that takes up all the daytime you have? Well, that’s YOUR fault. You should find a way to wake up at dawn to exercise, or eke out minutes of your evening to go to a smelly gym and maneuver the instruments there. Getting fat and high blood pressure because of the food you eat? That’s YOUR fault for succumbing to the billion-dollar advertising industry that confuses you to the point that you have no idea what a healthy food option is, so you cave in and do the quick, easy thing. If you were organized and a better person, you would have time to research the best foods, purchase them at the correct time for a good price, prepare them well, store them neatly, and take them with you wherever you might need to eat.
Well, actually, we’ve had it backwards. There, I said it. We are natural organisms with needs. Air, food, water, movement. We should set up a life that supports our health and development. Good, healthy food. Clean water. A safe place to live. Plenty of time to walk and move. Friendships, family, community. Laughter, fun, exploration. And work. But work that contributes. Work that fits into the world that WE need. Not the other way around. It may sound selfish and illogical, but what would happen if everyone did this? If everyone was healthy and relaxed and strong and had time to be creative and learn? What would we accomplish, then? Wouldn’t it likely be much better than what we’ve cobbled together here?
Well, I think so.
design + surrender 