I like to work. I think we all do. I love the feeling at the end of the day when I’m tired and I know that I did a good job. That I put in effort, that I used my skills, that I solved a problem for someone.
The thing is, I am no longer convinced that I should be letting something like a business decide how I spend my time. Why does an organization headed by someone I don’t know get to say what time I wake up in the morning? When I can travel to see my family? When I can take a break? Why do they get so much power over my life?
On the flip side, relegating these decisions to a company is sort of a relief. When someone else is telling you what to do, you don’t really have to think about it that much. You are given a set of rules for the game, and it makes it easier to know where you stand.
I haven’t had a job for over half a year now, and I can attest that this shift in mentality is difficult to navigate. When you are the one deciding your schedule and how to spend your time, it can feel overwhelming. Lists and lists and lists of things that never get done. It is something you can learn, but it requires a lot of self-examination. You have to understand what motivates you, and what makes a day “good”. There is a lot of personal work that needs to happen to arrive at the answers that make sense to you.
So, I suppose it depends on what you want your life to look like. If you’re someone who likes the security of having someone else providing structure to your days, then working for a company is probably a good thing. There’s nothing wrong with that. Structure and order are comforting and can be a good way to organize your life.
For those of us, though, who want something different, what are our options? I know many smarter people have examined this issue, but I have to start where I am, with what I know. It’s the only way to begin.
design + surrender 